Bonds
by xXgoldenlightningXx
Summary: a story of how holiday had to deal with growing up in a bad enviorment while taking care of her sister and still manages to be the holiday u see today
1. my important people

"**Hold fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly." **My mother would always tell me this when I was a little girl every time I had a nightmare. She said that nightmares are a way for us to experience our fears so that when the time comes, we would be able to overcome anything.

I was in the first grade and just turned seven. It was almost the end of the year and the fifth graders were having their last field trip to the riverside science museum. My brother had always dreamed about going there but our parents were always way to busy.

Father was a scientists who dedicated everything but his family to his work. My brother was always fascinated watching him tinker with things that his young eleven year old mind could not process. We would always sneak into the lab and try our best so that father would not notice. One time I accidently knocked over a beaker full of purple liquid. Father was really mad about it and I would of got into a lot of trouble if it wasn't for my brother taken the blame.

Mother couldn't do much with us either. It wasn't her fault really. She had to take a lot of time off of work as it was to take care of my baby sister Emily who was only three at the time.

Not only was Keith finally able to go to the museum with his class, but so was I. Two lower class men from each grade who had the highest class grade in this years science fair were chosen to go as well. In the first grade, my partner and I had won. We were assigned partners by our teachers and I had to work with a boy named Dan. He was very quite at first and I had to do most of the work but I didn't really mind. Soon after, we actually had some rather fun conversations. We rarely used words though. There was a reason why no one really talked to him. Dan was unable to talk back; he was mute.

As we were led onto the bus by our teachers I noticed that Keith was already on and sitting in the back seat with all the other older boys. He gave me a small wave and I shyly smiled and walked onto the bus with Dan trailing close behind. I started making my way to Keith when I was stopped by Dan. He lightly tugged on my green sleeve.

I turned to look at him but he didn't look back and averted his attention to the ground. I gave him a slight frown and gently poked him in the shoulder to ask him what was wrong. He shook his head back and forth and motioned to the front of the bus. I watched his sandy blond hair shake back and forth as the few strands that hung over his forehead a bit mixed in with his dark blue eyes.

I made a small O shape with my mouth. I had almost forgot that Dan didn't like older kids. I followed him to the front of the bus were we took our seat. Dan reached into his backpack and reached into it and shuffled around. He pretended that it was and endless tunnel and stuck his arm in so deep it covered a bit of his black band T-shirt that had big white words across it saying A7X.

I laughed as he stuck his tongue out touching the outside of his top lip. I let out a slight laugh. He took his hand out and shrugged lifting up both empty hands. Then, taking his right hand and making it into a first, slapped it on top of his open palm of his left hand signaling he got an idea. He reached behind my left ear making me back away a little and out of know were, he pulled out a chocolate coin with a gold wrapper.

When the bus came to a halt it was all the teachers could do to keep the kids at bay. When the doors opened, Keith somehow managed to be the first one off while grabbing my hand to take me with him. As a reaction I grabbed Dan's as well. It was amazing. Colors and smells of every kind. Keith's mouth almost dropped when he saw an army tank on display. I wondered what it had to do with anything but Keith told me it doesn't matter and ran to it.

I followed as usual. Dan and I watched as my older sibling climbed on top of it. Dan poked me and pointed at a sign that said _please do not touch._ Keith called out to Dan. He wanted him to get a closer look. Dan wasn't really interested but did anyway. As I stood there by myself it gave me a chance to realize something. All the teachers and all the other students besides the three of us were gone.

I called out to them and Keith's face that was full of interest was now pale. Dan ran over to me and grabbed my sleeve as if I would disappear as well. We looked at the older boy for answers but Keith was just as scared. I could tell as I watched him fiddle with his string to his navy blue hoody as he frantically looked around. He took my hand into his and led us into a direction he hoped would be right.

Being only seven, Dan was close to tears and I was getting pretty scared myself. Keith was on the verge of panic. After what seemed like an eternity, we finally found a teacher who was also looking for us. She was frantic and yelling. She had three fifth grade boys behind her. She yelled some more before Dan burst into silent tears. I was to young to understand why she was so angry. We had to cut the trip short and miss the electric show because of our disappearance. We waited outside for the rest of the class and the bus. One of the boys kept telling Keith how it was his fault and that he was a looser for hanging out with first graders in the first place and at the same time he continued to shove me and calling me names that I didn't understand yet. From the way Keith was clenching his jaw and telling him to back off if you know what's good for you, they were not names I wanted to be called witch made me feel even worse. Our teacher was talking to a police man asking if he saw were the others went and was to busy to notice. Keith turned around and told the boy to shove me one more time. I cringed as I felt a even harder shove before and was knocked to the ground letting out a small yelp of pain as the concrete scraped my hand. Keith almost lunged at him but to both of our surprise, the kid was knocked of his feet by Dan. The boy stumbled in surprise and back handed Dan across the face causing him to fall off the curb.

It was like slow motion. The teacher and cop turning around to stop the fight, Keith taking no time to break the boy's nose witch later he would be suspended for, The other two boys standing and watching, the stinging in my hand. But, the one thing I saw that I could guarantee no one else saw, the only thing I witnessed that would horrify me for the rest of my life, was the look on Dan's face as he fell of the curb, looked into my eyes with horror and confusion in mid air, and was run down by an on coming red car following a bright light that blocked out my vision. I called out his name but all I got in return was a gently whisper. _"It's not your fault Brianna." _Those were Dan's first words.

My eyes snap open and small panic hits me as my eyes tried to get use to the darkness. After my breathing slowed and I could see the dim light through the cracks of my door I realized I was laying on my stomach almost half way off my bed.

I blew my jet black bangs out of my eyes and painfully rolled back onto my bed and onto my back spreading my limbs and stretching. It was still night and the stars were bright and silent as ever as I turned my head causing black strands of long hair to fall on my face and looked at them. It has been ten years and I still continue to have that dream and I still wake up frightened. I reached over to my night stand and grabbed a picture frame of Keith and I a few days after the accident and in between us, Dan sat in a wheel chair from the hospital.

I was the first person he saw when he woke up. My mom told me that he was really hurt and might not wake up. I never left his side and Keith stayed there the whole time. I remembered seeing his blue eyes flutter open and look at me. I couldn't stop saying sorry and crying until he finally said "It's not your fault Brianna." The doctors said he was a walking miracle. Not only did he survive but somehow he could talk. Not only that, but my name was the first name he has ever said.

"God dammit!" I looked at my door as yelling erupted following from a slam of the door from down stairs. I let out a deep breath and shook my head. Dad must have just got home. I looked at my digital clock. It was one in the morning. I winced as I heard glace breaking followed by my mothers voice

"What is going on down here?" And that's how the argument started. Father and his failed experiment, comes home with nothing, mother tries to calm him down, usually something breaks, In the morning a wine bottle is missing and... I sat up as small knocking was heard on my door followed by a young girls voce.

"Bri? Are you up?" She whispered. I coughed giving her the sign to come in. The door opened and a thirteen year old version of me with shoulder length hair and bangs on the opposite side of her face walked in and slowly shut the door. She stood there for a minute and made a face. "What's wrong honey?" I asked as normal as I could. She looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"You know damn well what's wrong!." She said angrily but quietly so our parents couldn't hear while they were fighting.

"Alright Emily sorry." I motioned her to come sit on my bed and she did. I pushed over to the inside and lifted up the covers allowing her to curl up against me. I wrapped my arms around my baby sister and gently ran my fingers through her hair while I rested my chin on her scalp.

"I hope dad doesn't drink." I exhaled slowly examining the rearrange wood on my door. Emily and I were playing chess in the kitchen and Emily accidently broke a peace. Father had to much to drink and yelled at her telling her that all he does is pay for things and we break it. Emily was close to tears and looked at me for help. I looked at him and told him to get off her case. That was when he looked at me and said

"Who do you think you're talking to?" I simply looked at the chess board unfazed and said a good for nothing drunk. Let's just say our chess board won't work any more... and neither did my hand for a while. I took Emily and tried to just go into my room and shut the door. I guess he forgot how to use the door knob.

"Don't worry Emily. Dad's just stressed. He's working very hard." I tried to explained to her.

"When's Keith coming home?" she asked totally ignoring me as usual. I shrugged.

"I don't know. Last time I heard he was getting deployed from Afghanistan and to like China or something." I honestly didn't have a clue. Ever since Keith joined the navy two years ago he has been almost all around the world. One thing was for sure, I wanted him back just as bad as Emily did.

"I miss him." I nodded

"Me to kiddo, me to."

**If you didn't get it by now Brianna is Holiday XD **

**I hope it was a good start**


	2. Mornings

**TiGeRlIlY99 - i'm glad you liked it and i'll do my best**

It's nights like last night that I feel truly alone. As I watched the stars and listened to Emily's silent breathing, I realize just how important the role of an older sibling was. I always had Keith and I made a silent promise to my self that Emily would always have me.

After I fell asleep for what felt like no longer than an hour, I heard my personalize ring tone for Dan, well what he put on my phone the last time he, ahem, burrowed it, sing underneath my pillow.

I groaned and from the side I was sleeping on and looked out my window. It was still dark. I listened in silence to "Dear god" for a second. It wasn't my favorite song from avenged seven fold but Dan thought it suited me.

I had almost forgot my little sister was sleeping back to back to me until I felt an elbow hit my spine. I grunted a what the hell that was responded by a mumbling of words that didn't have to make sense for me to realize she was getting annoyed. I rolled onto my stomach resisting the urge to kick her off my bed. I didn't feel like getting into a wrestling match with a thirteen year-old today. She was a skinny little thing but she was strong. Then again, so was I.

I pulled my black tank top down to cover the Dark purple sun outlined in black that circled around my belly button that hopefully Emily had enough brains to keep it between us. Of course I would have to take her to get hers done.

I reached underneath my pillow and pulled out my purple and white comeback. If you haven't figured out by now I loved purple. My birthday was even in February. I silenced M. Shadows voice and placed the phone to my ear.

"Hn?" I asked in a muffled voice. I heard a snicker on the other line.

"Good morning to you to." Dan's voice erupted cheerfully on the other line. You know how sometimes when you wake up and feeling good and ready for the day and your best friend wants to kick you for trying to make you feel the same way? Well next time you see me, do me a favor and don't turn around.

"Mhm." Once again not using words. I guess some habits never change. Usually by now I'd say good morning or something but he took in my silence and understood as usual.

"Emily slept in your bed again?" I wish I could just nod instead of just repeating the answer from before. I listened to him let out a sigh. He knew what happened. After all, he was the one who fixed my door. He told me the usual time he would be picking my sister and me up and we disconnected the line.

I slowly got off my bed trying hard to not fall on the mini me while I was at it and grabbed the towel on my door. I would let her sleep for a little bit then wake her up. It was never a pleasant task.

My bare feet shuffled through the hallway upstairs and into the bathroom. Throwing my towel on the floor I got undressed only before looking into the mirror at my self and wondering why I was always complimented on my looks. All I saw was a black haired girl that went almost to the middle of my back with pasty white skin allowing my green eyes to stand out a bit to much and black eye liner that smudged under my eyes. I whispered "ew" to my self and ran my fingers under my eyes then stepped into the shower.

I wish I could just sleep in the shower sometimes. The warm water felt like a blanket covering up my beat up skin. Soccer can be a bitch sometimes. I leaned against the shower wall and rested my head on the cool substance and shut my eyes trying to think about what day it was.

Shutting the water of and wrapping my blue towel around me I walked back into my room were Emily had spread across my bed in an awkward angle. I was glad to see I wasn't the only one in this family like that. I smiled and turned on my light. She let out a small groan from her throat and covered her head with the blanket. I walked over and gave her a playful slap on her back.

"Time to get up Em." I wasn't to sure but I thought I heard something about Zebras. I rolled my eyes and pulled my purple and black checkered sheets off of her. She curled up into a ball as the first hours of the day hit her sleeping form. I sat on the edge of my bed and rubbed her back trying to get her to open her eyes.

Green met green as she rolled over and looked at me. She spread out and stretched. "Morning." She said. I smiled at her.

"Morning sweety." I got up to leave her be and got dressed with my usual skinny jeans and some sort of slim fit band shirt all accompanied with my black and white vans. All I needed to do now was learn how to skateboard. I ran my fingers through my hair and brushed it out making sure my bangs were in place. After I put on my eye liner and what ever else I wasn't to lazy to do I looked at the purple and black striped gloves on my counter that Dan got me on my birthday. I shrugged and put them on since there was some purple in my shirt and headed down stairs.

Walking into the kitchen I saw our mother sitting at the table in her fluffy pink bathrobe with her coffee doodling some words on paper. I crept behind her and made my way to the fridge. When I opened it I could of sworn she jumped almost five feet. I tuned around to look at her with a raise eyebrow. She placed her right hand on her heart and took a breath.

"Jesus Brianna you need to stop sneaking around like that. You almost gave me a heart attack." She said smiling at me. Her black hair hung loosely in a pony tail at the base of her neck. I returned the smile.

"I'm sorry mom but in all fairness you should be use to it by now." I turned around and continued the task at hand. She laughed.

"How can I? Now that your sisters older I can never tell if it's you or her." I smiled at that and grabbed the milk. Shutting the fridge and walking over to the counter I searched around inside the cabinet for food.

"I'm sorry Brianna I need to go food shopping soon." I shrugged and pulled out three boxes of cereal that were all half empty.

"Wouldn't be a problem if Emily could just eat one type at a time." I pointed out. I swear the kid had ADD. She couldn't even focus on one flavor. I took Emily's least favorite kind and pored the rest into my bowl and added the milk. I could tell my mother was watching but I acted like I didn't notice.

"Or if she didn't eat as much as you." I gave another shrug. "Then again you both look like you don't eat at all." I turned around and brought the bowl to the table. I asked if she wanted some but she shook her head and I sat down.

"Ya well I'm pretty sure Keith sums up the both of us." I took my spoon and dug in to the crunchy substance. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her sad smile and regretted bringing up his name.

"I'll go to the store and get some food if you want." Trying to change the subject. She gave me a skeptical look. I shrugged.

"I'm sure Dan won't mind giving me a ride." She calmed down a bit. Our mother had a fear of us driving ever since Keith crashed his car with a drunk driver. Talk about pain, I thought the scar on my forehead would never heal.

"Alright." She looked at me for a second. "If you want, Dan can eat over. I'm sure that Emily would love it." That was true. Emily really did like Dan. Not in a crush way but in a older brother way. It was my turn to look skeptical.

"Is Dad working?" She nodded. Dan never really liked coming over when Father was home. Our dad always gave him looks and asked strange questions. I guess girls and boys can't be just friends and his eyes.

"Well, alright. I don't see why not." Our conversation ended when we heard slow moving steps coming down the stairs. Emily walked into the kitchen wearing skinny jeans with a silver chain that made a U connected to her pant loops. It used to be Keith's and she wore it all the time. She had a long sleeve black and white striped V neck shirt that had the words Nirvana written across her chest. I never understood why she wore that shirt. I guess everyone had a spot in their heart for Kurt Cobain even if your favorite band was Escape the Fate. She was a cute kid even if her socks didn't match.

She sat on the table and placed her head on the surface. Our mother brushed Emily's bangs aside. "What's wrong honey." She said smiling.

"hhhuunnngggrrryyy." She wined. She looked at my cereal and pouted. I took a spoon full and ate it.

"Get up and get it yourself Em." I told her. He eyebrows furrowed together and she slowly made her way to the counter.

"Hey! You took all the frosted Flakes!" I placed my empty bowl in the sink.

"Sorry." I said and walked over into the living room and dropped onto the couch to finish up last nights chemistry homework.


	3. somber news and colored soccer balls

**TiGeRlIlY99- haha yes well im glad at least one perons likes it and sorry for the delay school sports just started up XD**

I began to get a headache after a while and must of dozed off because when I opened my eyes the sun had began to rise. I looked down at the book and my lap and stared at it unfazed until I heard a knock at our door.

"I'll get it!" Emily yelled from the kitchen and raced toward our front door. I looked over my shoulder and watched her let in a boy with sandy blond hair that hung half way down his neck. He wore slightly baggy jeans accompanied by some beat up sneakers and a simple plain black T -shirt. Before I could say hi Emily had already taken my place.

"Hey Dan!" She said happily. He smiled at her.

"Sup squirt." He said shutting the door behind her. She was about to reply but I glanced at the clock and spoke out.

"Em, grab your crap were gonna be late." She raised her eyebrow at me and opened her mouth to make some snappy come back until our mother walked in.

"Emily don't forget your cleats this time alright. Oh hello Dan." Dan nodded at her.

"Morning Mrs. Holiday." With a kind smile, Mother grabbed Emily's soccer bag and forced her upstairs much to her protest. Dan walked over to me and dropped himself on the couch practically landing on me.

"Ugh really?" I asked as my book was knocked to the floor. I wasn't to sure if he was laughing at the book or my expression. Neither seemed funny to me. He got off and picked my book off the floor and placed it in my back pack.

"You look like crap." He said zippering up my back pack and not looking at me. I rested my head on the back of the couch.

"I love your honesty." He shrugged. If it was anyone else it would have been an insult. But Dan's my best friend and he knows I would say the same thing to him.

"Wanna talk about it?" He asked. I looked up at the ceiling and tried counting the tiles.

"No." I said. He leaned back and crossed his arms and stared at me. "Don't start Dan." I warned him. He didn't look away. I felt a smile tug at my lips and looked at him. I let out a small laugh.

"Your such a creeper." He smiled. "But no every things fine." He didn't believe me. I'm not sure I even believed myself but he let it go. Emily poked her head from the side of the stair case.

"Bri!" She called from her position. Dan and I looked at her from the couch.

"What?" I asked.

"Um, can I bring your soccer ball to school?" I gave her a questioning look. "Please! None of the other eighth graders will have a purple soccer ball!" She begged.

"Nope." She frowned and let out a small ok and turned to go upstairs when I stopped her, "Em, what's your favorite color?" I asked. She bit her bottom lip in thought.

"Hmmm, green." She said and turned to go get her stuff.

"She's been wanting to take that thing to practice forever; why not just let her have it. You don't use it anymore." I shrugged.

"I have my reasons." I stood up and grabbed my backpack and yelled for my sister who, after five minutes, finally came down stairs. After yelling by for my mom to hear, I left with Dan and Emily walking behind me.

Emily hopped into Dan's Blue Ultima while I casually sat in the front. Dan got in and put his keys in the ignition and pulled out of our drive way. Emily reached for the radio and I quickly grabbed her hand.

"I know what your going to put on." She furrowed her brow.

"I thought you liked nightmare." She pointed out. I let go of her arm.

"Not at seven in the morning." With a slight "hmph" She sat down. Dan looked in his mirror at her.

"Don't worry Em. When we pick you up I'll let you blast whatever song you like." She grinned. Dan gave me a side look. "And I might even let you drive.

"Really!" Emily asked. I glared at him.

"Like hell she will! Not until I get to." Dan and Emily both laughed.

We pulled up to Riverside Middle School and dropped Emily off. On our way to our school I decided to ask Dan if he wanted to eat over.

"Of course we'd have to stop at the store and grab food first." Pulling into the parking lot he pulled out his keys and looked at me.

"And you Dad's not gonna be home." I nodded.

"Yerp." I said and got out.

"Well alright I don't see why not." He said as he adjusted his back pack that sat on his right shoulder. We walked in and did the usual: separated into our locker rooms to drop off our stuff, walked around the school and then headed into home room.

My day went by rather quickly especially since I already summed up history and English as a sophomore and Math last year. So, I basically had all science classes. The subject interested me greatly. My teachers saw that I had talent in the field but at the same time I hated the fact that I had the same interest as my father.

When the bell rang signaling that last period was over, I quickly packed up so I could head to the locker room and then meet Dan to head to practice when I was stopped by Ms. Shrinzy.

"Can I have a word with you quickly Brianna?" In my heads I rolled my eyes but outside I smiled.

"Sure." I said stopping in front of her desk. She took out an envelope.

"I received a letter from a high ranking scientist who had been working on the same classified project as your father at the University of Hexington who looked over your latest lab report. He was very impressed with your work of late." She said with a smile She handed me the letter and I read it. My mouth dropped. Some old guy named Dr. Fell wanted me to attend this college that I only thought kids from rich private schools were able to go to.

"Holy hell." I said. She laughed.

"Congratulations Brianna." I swallowed and quickly placed it in my bag. After a few more words between us I quickly walked/ jogged down the hallway. I came into the locker room were all the other girls were getting ready for their practice. Silently I walked by them and to my locker.

"Bri guess what!" Resisting the urge to wack my head on my locker I looked at The girl with curly blond hair and bright red lipstick.

"What Heather?" I asked my team mate with a couple others behind her. She looked around as if someone gave a damn about what she was saying. I no I didn't.

"I heard Kayla is going to fight Quin and..." They began to carry on the conversation while I attempted to get dressed. I gave a little Uh huhs here and there but I wasn't really paying attention. It was all words any way. No one would hit anyone. I knew that for sure but they would always try to get me on their side.

Kayla was just the type of person who wanted to fight everyone. She never did because she knew no one would ever try to fight her. I didn't like her very much and never wanted to deal with her. Luckily for me I'm the only one who ever hit her so she doesn't talk to me anymore. We were freshmen and she was sitting behind me one day.

Dan had a cold and sneezed and lets just say he should have had a tissue. She was making a big deal out of such a little thing as if Dan wasn't embarrassed enough especially since he was sitting next to a girl he liked who he finally got the courage to talk to.

I simply told her to calm down and she swatted me on the back of the head. I could've handled the situation differently but my fourteen year old mind caused me to jump out of my seat and slap her off of hers.

So now, every time she's up to something everyone wants me involved except for me. I shut my locker and walked away and out the door were Dan was waiting.

"What's with all the yelling.?" I put an elastic in my mouth and started to put my hair up in a pony tail. I shrugged and took the elastic out of my mouth.

"I guess Kayla is bitching about something that only her tiny mind can muster." I bent down to tighten my shin guards and started to walk away. Dan followed. We walked in our socks to the field. "Guess what?" I asked him and pulled out my paper. He read it and gasped.

"Holy Hell!" I took it back.

"I know right." He rubbed his neck.

"Wish I was that smart." I shook my head.

"You are Dan." He replied with a "mhm."

"I think you are and you know no ones opinion matters but you... mostly mine though." He wrapped his arm around my neck playfully. Laughing, I tried my best to get out of his grip. When I did, he chased me all the way to the fields. I kept running until Dan couldn't anymore and started to jog circles around him. "Fatty."

"Shut.. Up." He snickered.

"Haha alrighty fine." I stopped.

"Holiday stop picking on the boys they get the idea." Coach Madison yelled. My teammates laughed and I gave Dan a smirk and jogged over to the girl's field.

"See ya after." As I ran I noticed Dan watching me the whole time, that is until his friends tackled him to the ground.

"It smells like sweaty dude!" I said sitting in Dan's car as we went to pick up my sister.

"Bri, you don't exactly smell so good yourself." I sniffed my shirt.

"Actually that is me." He took out his cologne from the glove compartment and aimed it at me. "Don't you dare." He did and now I really smelt like guy. I gave him a disgusted look.

"Ah that's better." He said dropping it into the glove compartment.

"Oh wait stop for a second." We pulled of at a sports store and I quickly ran in with my back pack before he could say anything. After ten minutes I came out empty handed.

"Um..." I looked at him and pulled out some gum. "You made me stop for gum?" I nodded.

"Yep." I said chucking a piece at him.

"We came to a stop at the back of Emily's school were she was sitting on a bench. She walked over to the car and hopped in.

"How was practice?" I asked her.

"Great! My coach says that I'm as good as you were if not better." Dan gave a snicker which I ignored.

"Awesome kiddo! I think you've earned this." Emily scooted over and looked over my shoulder were I pulled a green soccer ball out of my back pack. Her face was brighter then a Christmas tree. She wrapped her skinny arms around my neck.

"Thank you! Thank you! thank you soooo much Bri! I can't believe you got me this!" With one eye closed I tried not to fall over in her grip.

"Your welcome Em." I said and handed it to her. After picking up what we needed and allowing Emily to buy her freaking frosted flakes, we headed home. Dan was outside on the front lawn with Emily who was trying out her new soccer ball while I walked in holding the letter behind my back in order to show my mom only to find her crying at the table with a phone next to her. I walked into the kitchen cautiously.

"Mom? What's wrong?" I sat down next to her and placed a hand on her back. She sniffled and shook her head.

"Your brother passed away this afternoon."

**Cliff hanger :) I'm so excited the tattoo i mentioned earlier that Holiday has is wat I'm gonna get saturday **


	4. emotional roller coaster

**Sorry about the extremely late update. I've been having late practices and I was also working on a drawing XD**

**Anarrislasher - Thank you and I'm a huge fan of holix as well but I'm not sure is six will be in this because it is about Holiday's past and technically she is still a kid and each kid experiences something before he or she actually gets involved with their main partner. I do have a Holix story though. I'll try to put that up sometime. **

I looked at her blankly unable to process the news that had just been thrown at me. I studied her green red rimmed eyes for a bit to find a different answer. There was none.

"Wh- what?" I finally managed to force out. She sniffled and nodded.

"He was shot trying to lead the rifleman away from the injured " Of course he did I thought bitterly to my self. I folded my arms on the kitchen table and looked ahead with an expression of anger or sadness. I could not tell them apart at the moment. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my mother couldn't tell either by the way her emerald eyes studied me for a reaction. I knew sooner or later I would feel the wave of emotions hit me and I did not need it to be seen by the public.

"Does Dad know?" She nodded. "Well, were the hell is he?" I asked getting more then pissed off.

"He's." I looked at her telling her I knew but I wanted her to say it anyway. She gave in and sadly stated that he was at work. I let out a small snicker almost like a huff.

"Real fucking nice mom." I stood up and headed for my room.

"Brianna!" My mother tried calling after me which was returned by the sound of my bedroom door slamming. I walked over to my window and opened it. Usually when I do not want to be seen leaving the house this was my only escape root. I slowly crawled out and gently landed on the grayish tiles that covered the house of our roof. I crept silently following my memorized path to the side of the house. The tree that over looked the side of our house stood as still as death.

I remembered when I was small and Keith had taught me how to get onto it from the roof and climb down. I remembered how scared I was the first couple of times but after watching Keith running and jumping onto the tree, I found it simple. I know longer had to run an jump to reach the tree due to my growth since the age of six.

I gave a small jump and reached the strongest branch and pulled my self up. I climbed down the large piece of wood and left the laughing of my sister and Dan behind as I walked into the woods through the path that only the Holiday siblings knew about. Of course that's because we made it. Well Keith and I did. Emily sort of just watched and played with wood frogs.

Now I know what you must be thinking. She just heard that her brother died and she's going hiking. Well that's what I do when I'm pissed or sad. It's either that or punch a whole in the wall or cry myself to sleep and neither seem appealing to me. We all have our source of comfort and until I can find someone I actually want to be around in times like these, I will appreciate my solitude.

After what felt like an hour but was only fifteen minutes, I came to a clearing were I was met by a cool breeze and an ocean that stretched out for eternity. It was a small clearing but enough for a small group of kids to fit nicely. The beach was apart of a larger one on the other side of the stack of rocks that separated it. Normally you have to pay to swim at that beach but my siblings and I found this spot trying to sneak in.

I took a deep breath and shuttered as the cold sea salt air hit my lungs. I pondered for a few seconds as to why they ached until I felt a cool almost glass bead like snack slither down the side of my cheek. I was crying. I slid my sleeve across my eyes and tried to hold it back. Slowly my eyes blurred and a small whimper escaped my lips. I sort off fell/sat on the fluffy sand and pulled my knees in were I buried my head and allowed my self to loose control of my emotions. Even though I was alone, I still cried silently.

"_I freaking hate this! I hate war more then anyone can believe. I hate how Keith abandoned Emily and me to go fight in the damn war! I hate how my father treats us and I hate him and his whole pointless job!. I hate this god damn beach! The same beach were we all played as children. Were Emily, Keith, me and..."_ My rambling thoughts were interrupted when I felt a hand touch my shoulder. I jumped up in surprise and looked at my company. Dan was sitting next to me in the sand looking at me through concerned dark eyes.

"Jesus don't's do that." I said more angry then surprised. For once he didn't laugh at me.

"I'm sorry." I sniffled and nodded.

"It's alright, It's not you fault you're a creep." I gave him a small smile trying to lighten up the mood. He did not respond to my act of kindness or lack there of.

"That's not what I ment." I looked away from him.

"Oh." He looked at me intensely and I shifted underneath my friend's gaze.

"What?" I asked him. Dan raised his hand and smoothly removed a tear from my face. I looked at him confused.

"You've been crying." He said plainly. I nodded.

"Mhm." I confessed. "Just a little." He turned to face the ocean and propped one knee up.

"Emily found out." I already knew she would. My mother crying on the kitchen table doesn't really help. "She's really hurt. She didn't show it but I think she was hoping you would be there." I felt a wave of guilt pass through me like a lightning bolt. I nodded.

"Ya I'm gonna head back anyway. I'll talk to her." He gave me another concerned look.

"You sure you're ok to do that?" He asked. Once again his actions confused me. I turned to him and raised an eyebrow. Dan raised his hands up in defense. "Sorry, it's just that." he waited in order to choose his words carefully. "It wasn't just her brother that died." I stood up and brushed the sand off my pants.

"I know but I made a promise." I told him as he stood up with me. "I had Keith and Emily would always have me. It's as simple as that. I may not have Keith anymore but I can take care of my self." I explained as I turned to head back to the woods assuming he would follow. Dan reached out and grabbed my left wrist and turned me around pulling me into a hug.

"That's not true. Keith is gone but... but you still have me." My eyes slightly widened at his statement. I grinned and put my hands around him.

"Nah, We all have each other." I felt him nod and he let me go but still held on gently to my arms. We looked at each other for a moment and I felt a weird sensation in my stomach. I was to distracted by it and his eyes to realize he was leaning down towards me slowly until our lips met In a confusing kiss.

I kept asking my self what he was doing until I found that I somewhat enjoyed it as I returned his actions and leaned in closer to him. I ran my hands up his chest and hugged him around his neck. In return, he slowly brought his hands up my hips and around my waist. My eyes were still shut when he left my lips and rested his forehead against mine. All my hatred and saddens slowly left as my eyes fluttered open to meet his. It was weird. We were best friends, helped each other ask others out and yet here we are around thirteen years later after the first day we met sharing our first kiss. I felt safe in his arms like everything would be OK.

He took his hand in mine and led me through the woods as the sun set behind us.

Even though you know you can take care of yourself, you still need someone to be there.

**I'll try to update as soon as possible sorry that it was short :(**

**I know the whole kissing scene might of been to much but keep in mind I'm a holix fan ;) and continue reading.  
**


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